I don’t know
by Brian Hibbard
Image source: Unsplash
"I don't know,"
It's a phrase we all think, but one we hate to admit. As students, from the time we are in kindergarten up until now, we are conditioned to study for the test and have all the answers. Progressing through our education, it becomes no less uncomfortable when you can't answer a question when called upon. For most of our educational experience, however, you can hide in the anonymity of a lecture hall, hoping you don't get called on and exposing your shame.
Entering the clinical world as freshly minted M3, you quickly realize there are seemingly endless things that you don't know, and very little that you actually do. Gone are the days of anonymity. Now you're one-on-one with residents, attendings, and patients. The dreaded phrase -- I don't know -- becomes an inevitability.
"What is the mechanism behind...?"
"What are the criteria for...?"
"What is your assessment of my condition?"
I don't know.
It's embarrassing, initially, to admit that you don't know. You feel like an imposter who has finally been found out, a fraud who has somehow made it this far. But it's expected! That's why you're a student. Those residents and attendings you're comparing yourself to, with seemingly endless amounts of knowledge, were once in your position, and still have to occasionally admit that they don't know the answers to questions.
With time and more clinical experience, not knowing becomes less frequent, but does it ever get easier to admit?
I don't know.
Brian Hibbard is a fourth-year medical student at the UTCOMLS.
