If I Kept a Diary in Medical School: Advice for Clinical Years
by Brooke Buckingham
Let your tears
Be mascara stains
On your new white coat
Get an IUD
There will be no time
For changing tampons
Leave your dirty clothes
As the perfect backdrop
For every Sunday night zoom call
Get 3 hours of sleep
Because Roe was overturned
So anything could be next
Take the detour
Get the good coffee
The kind from the cafeteria
Then drink a Celsius later
And a second coffee if you need to
Postpone your Anki
Joke with your attending
And bond with the nursing staff
Because neither of you
Can find your asthma inhaler
Ask for two waters
Since your best friend
Is busy dancing
Cancel all your dates
And feel no remorse
When he calls you selfish
Call a high school friend
Who lives in London
And talk for hours
Learn relationships
Weren’t meant to be static
And neither were friendships
Move in with your best friend
Watch Love Is Blind
Wonder if you will ever fall in love
Hide in the bathroom
This trick works anywhere
Even the annual winter party
Where your dress rips down the back
So pretend you’re Cinderella
Even a wardrobe malfunction
Can’t keep you from dancing
Go home with your roommate
And laugh on your kitchen floor
Because how did you ever love him?
Wonder about religion
To anyone who will listen
Since it never felt real to you
Impress your friends
Knowing all the words
To your favorite song
And sing it so loud
Afterwards you’re sure
They truly love you
With another person’s life
Resting partially in your palms
It’s okay to still be human
And to find the beauty in it
So cry in the bathroom
When your resident brings you
To deliver news
Of a cancer diagnosis
And don’t feel guilty
If you go home
And call your mom
Just to cry over again
And on Monday at 6 am
Do not awaken your patient abruptly
Instead turn the bathroom light on
And modestly crack open the door
Just enough so they can see your face
How are you feeling this morning?
Brooke Buckingham is a fourth-year medical student at the UTCOMLS.
